Testing My Limits

I was surfing the web and found this article by Julie Zeveloff called “The Cities Where The Most Billionaires Were Born”

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/the-cities-where-the-most-billionaires-were-born-2014-8#ixzz3AyPE9Moa

where millionaires are born

For some strange reason this really fascinated me–perhaps because it seems to hint at fate (several billionaires were from the same place), or because it is a map and I really like maps? I don’t know and didn’t bother double checking the statistics…just thought it was something fun to think about. I also had some time to worry yesterday and I got productive about it and wrote a short story why fretting is not a good idea.

It feels really different then what I usually write because of the setting and plot. I usually don’t zoom in on daily life from such an artistic angle. I don’t know, maybe it’s similar to my other stories. But the two characters are a brother and sister talking about health and finance and art…it does seem to be unique. Of course the sore of the story is about friendship and learning to feed your heart and not just your imagination.

I think in part I was thinking about authors and artists who put 99% of their lives into their work. I don’t want to be like that and sometimes I feel like more work drains me. I decided to play around with the idea while getting across the don’t fret message I’ve been musing over from Psalm 37.

fret_coverbranching color

Anyways that was what I wrote yesterday. Today I’m getting ready to try and test out of Calculus 1 before signing up for this semester. I know I’m cutting things really close. I have studied using books and online resources and although I had previously been using Khan Academy to build up my math skills…I’ve found it’s good for all around study help. 

differential calc progress

 Limits is my best subject so far. That’s why you see the lovely 2% mastery under Differential Calculus. I’m also going over some more Tai Chi today that’s why you see all those tabs. I’m reading articles and watching videos by Dr. Paul Lam because I like having background information when I study things. I’m a bit studious.

I also applied for about 4 jobs at the local university because my friend works there and I need an excuse to see him. I don’t know what will become of my job search. I apply for jobs all the time now. My resume is like a piece of art to me…I polish it up seemingly every other day.

Surprisingly, I’m not obsessive about finding a job to get an identity. I’ve already said no and decided I would keep looking until I found the right fit. I’ve also had some pretty awkward interviews.

But, enough about jobs! I’m reading The Prayer Box by Lisa Wingate now…because I need to read something light. I’ve read way too many heavy philosophical books. The last book I finished was an audio book of the short story, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. It was all about thinking and I’m just getting tired of thinking so much when I go through literature. I just want to read and relax.

It’s almost 9 o’clock so I have things to do. Watch more videos on Differential Equations…but now that I think about it. I’ll do it later. I don’t think cramming my study time into large sessions has been helping me.

“4 Steps For Becoming A Brilliant Writer”

Here’s a very helpful interview by Carrie Green and Nikki E. Brown. I hope you all become better writers. The focus is on those who write as entrepreneurs and in marketing but any sort of writer can use this wonderful advice.

Here’s a summary if you can’t see the video or didn’t take notes or don’t have time.

1) Choose your words wisely. Say positive things and “flip the script”

2) Outsmart Writer’s Block (sit,set a timer and write)

3) Move past perfectionism.

4) Seek useful feedback:

a)be specific.

b)provide context (describe target audience).

c) Give feedback as well as take it.

 

No Words

I kept putting off this post because I am speechless yet again. I’m so tired of all the emotions eating away at me. I just want to go hide somewhere and never come out.

Ever.

I could write about writing but that would be the blandest thing I could do. I could write about the weather or try to find some subject. But to be honest there is no subject today.

I’m waiting to get out of the mood I’m in. Everything is like -_-

So much emotion. I can not handle it.

I have to refocus myself. So I’m listening to “Blue Skies” by Point of Grace.

BUT I JUST FEEL SO LOST.

EMOTIONS. I usually just ignore emotions. I don’t want to deal with them…ever. But I do ant to deal with them. I’m tired of being such a Stoic.

I don’t even know how to handle myself…how to get out of this VORTEX.

I guess I should do something like eat ice cream and write poems until I get out of my drama. I just feel trapped. Like I can’t do or say anything with honesty. The only real honesty is that I’m having trouble dreaming and I refuse to give up.

Sorry this was like a journal entry. I need to go pray.

Jealous

I admit I’ve figured out something really weird. I get jealous of people who are like me…then I feel bad about it because I realize I’m just like them.

For example, polyglots, I was so jealous…and guess what I consider a hobby? Learning languages! Why the jealousy? Pourquoi?

Writers. Although I’m working on a novel, have published poetry, run my blogs, and am probably going to get a job working on a website’s content. *shamefully shakes her head* I still fight that envy.

Dancers. I took dance for many years, practicing in between. I still work on dance and Tai Chi.

Musicians. I have such an ear for music, and can play by ear (although I’m not a professional)…even international music…so that ties in with Polyglot jealousy.

I even get jealous of people’s faith…forgetting for a moment my own intense sense of purpose and belief in God and how that translates into my life.

I’m just pathetic!

I get jealous of people who read…forgetting that I read every single day. READER ENVY.

I get jealous of people who have the some color eyes or hair or same taste in clothing or movies or anything! It’s just so strange! I even get jealous of people who have my birthday.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s a very immature habit.

I think the best way to deal with it is to remind myself that the “envy” is really just a prompt. For example when I see people learning many languages it is just a prompt to study language.

Chatting Online is Amazing

So if you don’t know already I have a bit of phone phobia. So when I found out I could change my password for my school’s webpage via chatting instead of phone I nearly jumped at the idea. I just got my password reset…it took about a minute. I’m happy and in fact it was such a great experience that I filled out the customer satisfaction survey and told them how amazing it was.

What can I say, I’m a geek.

 

 

How To Wash Dishes

washing-the-dishes

After cooking oatmeal this morning, and washing out the pot…I noticed a few blotches at the bottom…so I turned the hot water back on and got back to scrubbing.

I often hear the complaint that I don’t know how to wash dishes. For some reason this really upsets me.

I feel like it is an affront to my character.

Of course I know how to wash dishes! The dishes I wash are very clean.

But maybe my priorities are a bit off and that is why I’m under-performing when it comes to scrubbing pots and pans.

Here’s what I usually do:

  • pretend I am Cinderella, my favorite fairy tale princess.
  • have fun with bubbles…hopefully when I squeeze the bottle of soap loads of bubbles fly everywhere and make the kitchen into wonderland.
  • relax my hands under all the hot water like it’s not even about the dishes…and then my face gets all steamy too.
  • daydream
  • try not to waste water and think about conserving energy and helping the planet
  • try to hear what’s going on in the rest of the house
  • imagine a world where you never had to wash dishes
  • imagine what types of dishes I would buy if living on my own *something environmentally chic and possibly wooden…but how durable are wooden dishes?*
  • realize that I am using too much water so I turn the sink off.
  • check if the item is shiny

Now, I’m aware that this list is very over-the-top and I need to get serious about dishes *sad face*. I sound like a very immature person right now, and I am sorry. I need forgiveness.

I like to blame my inability to be super serious on my imagination which is a must have for inventors and authors. But I do realize I need to learn to master that out of control flaming wild imagination I have and channel it into stories and scientific ideas.

So here I am embarrassing myself online and hopefully it will help me to be more practical about washing dishes in the future.